Tag Archives: relationships

The Way To Real Success…

You cannot hope for a large measure of success in either secular or religious work unless you can learn how to persuade your fellows, to prevail with men. You simply must have tact and tolerance.

The Urantia Papers (160:1.9)

success

Real success in any endeavor of work is largely dependent on how we work with other children of God. It’s our relationships that take most work. Our consciousness and our relationships are the only things that have eternal value.

others

It’s not just about us it’s about everyone else. If we focus on only our needs then life can’t be as meaningful. God and his amazing plan encompasses us all. We are supremely valuable to God as are others, together we make up his family. Let’s serve the larger family for a fruitful and supremely fulfilling life…

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM gentle and tactful…

Recommendation: The Urantia Papers

The Urantia Book: Indexed Version with free Audio Book on DVD (Can only be played on a computer with a DVD drive.)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

How To Convince Others…

He who treads softly goes far. Chinese Proverb

avoid arguments

We all want others to agree with us. Then why do we tend to argue so much? How likely is the other person to agree with us if we try to convince them via an argument? Let’s listen deeply instead. And then if we have a point to make, use this Dale Carnegie technique: Start them off saying ‘Yes’. Ask questions that solicit an affirmative response. That will set the psychological stage for the other person to agree with us. This should be done without manipulation and in a genuine way of course…

life principles

14th Dale Carnegie Principle: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

Here’s a story from the book:

Socrates, "the gadfly of Athens," was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four

centuries after his death, he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world.
His method? Did he tell people they were wrong? Oh, no, not Socrates. He was far too adroit for that. His whole technique, now called the "Socratic method," was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree. He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.

Daily Affirmation: Today I seek ‘Yeses’!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Who’s The Truest Friend Of All?

A friend-in-truth is one who does not expect you to behave better than your present consciousness allows.Vernon Howard

understanding

Understanding where others come from, what drives them, what they believe and what’s most important to them is the greatest skill we can acquire! In the gift of understanding others lies our own happiness. Let’s become fully available to those who we rub shoulders with..

our gift

The most precious gift we can bestow is one of presence and understanding. When we understand the other, we can know that they too are a magnificent child of God and that they operate within the confines of their consciousness. This allows us to be fully accepting of them and such a genuine approach gives them greater permission to be who they are. The relationship can only deepen now which paves way for the unlimited growth of everyone involved…

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM a true friend!

Recommendation: The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert PhD

The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life's ChallengesKindle Fire, Full Color 7

What Do We Prioritize?

An inch of time is an inch of gold but you can’t buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.  – Chinese Proverbs

most important?

What do we hold most important? What do our daily actions tell us about what’s most important to us? Are the two (our values & actions) congruent with each other? If not why? What are the gaps? What’s holding us back?

action

Once we know our values (most important to us) we must act. We must actualize those values into our lives. We must experience them. If family’s most important, as an example, then let’s:

  • Show that by spending more time with family
  • Prove it by being completely present with them
  • Express it by loving them unconditionally

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM focused on the most important stuff…

Recommendation: Love: What Life Is All About by Leo F. Buscaglia

Love: What Life Is All AboutKindle Fire, Full Color 7

How To Use Honey!

A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. Abraham Lincoln

honey?

How we begin an interaction is probably more important than the rest of the conversation. ‘First impressions’ last the longest. Genuine and hear-felt friendliness will ultimately melt even the toughest exterior. Let’s start each such exchange with a real smile and a softness that reveals our own deep nature; then watch how all our relationships blossom!

life principles

13th Dale Carnegie Principle: Begin in a friendly way.

Here’s an example from the book:

Daniel Webster, who looked like a god and talked like Jehovah, was one of the most successful advocates who ever pleaded a case; yet he ushered in his most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as: "It will be for the jury to consider," "This may perhaps be worth thinking of," " Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of," or "You, with your knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts." No bulldozing. No high-pressure methods. No attempt to force his opinions on others. Webster used the soft-spoken, quiet, friendly approach, and it helped to make him famous.

Daily Affirmation: Today I begin with love!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

What Makes A Strong Character?

…the measure of your human strength of character is your ability to resist the holding of grudges and your capacity to withstand brooding in the face of deep sorrow.  – The Urantia Papers, (156:5.17)

relationships

The biggest problem building and repairing relationships has to do with our holding of grudges and resentments. How often do we behave like little kids, getting mad with others and with life? How long do we stay in such moods? When do we plan to stop throwing these tantrums Smile?

life is short

Life is extremely short. We get reminded of this reality quite often. Notice the person who died suddenly leaving her family behind. Also notice folks who are terminally ill. Life on this planet is not guaranteed. The only thing we can guarantee is our own attitude towards life. We can only control our own thoughts. When we forgive others, life and our selves, we feel better and buoyant!  When we let go of resentments we free ourselves and give self full permission to live! We end up with healthier minds and bodies. We are happier! What’s stopping us??

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM forgiving!

Recommendation: The Urantia Papers

The Urantia Book: Indexed Version with free Audio Book on DVD (Can only be played on a computer with a DVD drive.)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

When Are We Wrong?

It raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes. Dale Carnegie

I’m wrong

Last week we explored why no one else should ever be tagged as being ‘wrong’! Without belittling ourselves we should be strong enough to admit, and without equivocation, when we are wrong. Let’s leave no question on the table that in any situation where we’re wrong, everyone involved should know so, we can then move on… Such an approach will go a long way in building trust and guaranteeing long term relationships… 

life principles

12th Dale Carnegie Principle: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Here’s an illustrative story from the book:

Ferdinand E. Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art.
"It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing purposes, to be precise and very exact," Mr. Warren said as he told the story.
"Some art editors demand that their commissions be executed immediately; and in these cases, some slight error is liable to occur. I knew one art director in particular who was always delighted to find fault with some little thing. I have often left his office in disgust, not because of the criticism, but because of his method of attack. Recently I delivered a rush job to this editor, and he phoned me to call at his office immediately. He said something was wrong. When I arrived, I found just what I had anticipated – and dreaded. He was hostile, gloating over his chance to criticize. He demanded with heat why I had done so and so. My opportunity had come to apply the self-criticism I had been studying about. So I said: ”Mr. So-and-so, if what you say is true, I am at fault and there is absolutely no excuse for my blunder. I have been doing drawings for you long enough to know bet-ter. I’m ashamed of myself.’
"Immediately he started to defend me. ‘Yes, you’re right, but after all, this isn’t a serious mistake. It is only -‘
"I interrupted him. ‘Any mistake,’ I said, ‘may be costly and they are all irritating.’
"He started to break in, but I wouldn’t let him. I was having a grand time. For the first time in my life, I was criticizing myself – and I loved it.
" ‘I should have been more careful,’ I continued. ‘You give me a lot of work, and you deserve the best; so I’m going to do this drawing all over.’
" ‘No! No!’ he protested. ‘I wouldn’t think of putting you to all that trouble.’ He praised my work, assured me that he wanted only a minor change and that my slight error hadn’t cost his firm any money; and, after all, it was a mere detail – not worth worrying about.
"My eagerness to criticize myself took all the fight out of him. He ended up by taking me to lunch; and before we parted, he gave me a check and another commission"
There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.

Daily Affirmation: Today I readily admit it when I’m wrong!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7