Tag Archives: relationships

The Key To Another’s Heart…

Next to love, sympathy is the divinest passion of the human heart. Edmund Burke

sympathy

We all need love and understanding. When we don’t get it we feel hurt. When we do receive sympathy we feel better almost immediately. To genuinely make the other person feel better is the key to winning them over. When our life is more about others than self, we are happy and so are they!

life principles

18th Dale Carnegie Principle: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

Here’s a story from the book:

Jay Mangum represented an elevator-escalator maintenance company in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which had the maintenance contract for the escalators in one of Tulsa’s leading hotels. The hotel manager did not want to shut down the escalator for more than two hours at a time because he did not want to inconvenience the hotel’s guests. The repair that had to be made would take at least eight hours, and his company did not always have a specially qualified mechanic available at the convenience of the hotel.
When Mr. Mangum was able to schedule a top-flight mechanic for this job, he telephoned the hotel manager and instead of arguing with him to give him the necessary time, he said:
"Rick, I know your hotel is quite busy and you would like to keep the escalator shutdown time to a minimum. I understand your concern

about this, and we want to do everything possible to accommodate you. However, our diagnosis of the situation shows that if we do not do a complete job now, your escalator may suffer more serious damage and that would cause a much longer shutdown. I know you would not want to inconvenience your guests for several days."
The manager had to agree that an eight-hour shut down was more desirable than several days’. By sympathizing with the manager’s desire to keep his patrons happy, Mr. Mangum was able to win the hotel manager to his way of thinking easily and without rancor.

Daily Affirmation: Today I understand the hurt others feel…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Where Do They Come From?

There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason and you have the key to his … personality. Dale Carnegie

what??

People and their antics befuddle us daily! What are they up to and why do they do the same things again and again!? We never really understand why people do what they do. What would happen if we took time to understand them? What if we discover their true motivations, fears, assumptions, hopes and desires?

life principles

17th Dale Carnegie Principle: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Here’s a story from the book:

Seeing things through another person’s eyes may ease tensions when personal problems become overwhelming. Elizabeth Novak of New South Wales, Australia, was six weeks late with her car payment. "On a Friday," she reported, "I received a nasty phone call from the man who was handling my account informing me if I did not come up with $122 by Monday morning I could anticipate further action from the company. I had no way of raising the money over the weekend, so when I received his phone call first thing on Monday morning I expected the worst. Instead of becoming upset I looked at the situation from his point of view. I apologized most sincerely for causing him so much inconvenience and remarked that I must be his most troublesome customer as this was not the first time I was behind in my payments. His tone of voice changed immediately, and he reassured me that I was far from being one of his really troublesome customers. He went on to tell me several examples of how rude his customers sometimes were, how they lied to him and often tried to avoid talking to him at all. I said nothing. I listened and let him pour out his troubles to me. Then, without any suggestion from me, he said it did not matter if I couldn’t pay all the money immediately. It would be all right if I paid him $20 by the end of the month and made up the balance whenever it was convenient for me to do so.

Daily Affirmation: Today I understand first…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

What Is Self-Knowledge?

Self-knowledge is the discovery from moment to moment of the ways of the self, its intentions and pursuit, its thoughts and appetites.  – Krishnamurti

why?

Why should we care about self-knowledge? As we become conscious of self we realize that something’s going on! Life is going on, and we are an integral part of it. We start to understand our place and our level of participation in Life. Next, questions spring from within and they are pointers to a deeper understanding of why everything is the way it is

within

This journey of ‘self-knowledge’ must begin within. As we think and become aware of what we think, our understanding of self increases. That is the beginning, becoming increasingly aware of the origin of our thinking and its motives…

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM a seeker of self…

Recommendation: The Awakening of Intelligence by Krishnamurti

The Awakening of IntelligenceKindle Fire, Full Color 7

How To Attract Anyone…

If you love people, they will draw near you — you will have no difficulty in winning them.  – On Taoism, The Urantia Papers…

love?

It’s so hard to just love another. When we attempt to do so the mutual personal history intervenes. Our conditioned response takes over and we lose the lovely opportunity to see folks for what they are…

beautiful!

Everyone including us is beautiful and lovable. What does it take to recognize this beauty within us and others? When can we stop judging them and us? When will we realize that Love is the most important preoccupation? Love is what’s needed most by any person and any situation…

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM love personified…

Recommendation: The Urantia Papers

The Urantia Book: Indexed Version with free Audio Book on DVD (Can only be played on a computer with a DVD drive.)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

How to Please Your Spouse or Your Manager!

The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. Lao Tse

it’s their idea…

An easy way to win friends and gain cooperation is to let them take credit for your idea. We all feel a need to be right. We all want to be credited justly. Does it really matter? What’s more important, that we be right, or that the right outcome be achieved? If we believe in the inherent goodness of Life, then we won’t be so concerned about gaining credit. Let the other person think it’s their idea, we win a friend and gain their cooperation for a lifetime!

life principles

16th Dale Carnegie Principle: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Here’s a story from the book:

Colonel Edward M. House wielded an enormous influence in national and international affairs while Woodrow Wilson occupied the White House. Wilson leaned upon Colonel House for secret counsel and advice more than he did upon even members of his own cabinet.
What method did the Colonel use in influencing the President? Fortunately, we know, for House himself revealed it to Arthur D. Howden Smith, and Smith quoted House in an article in The Saturday Evening Post.
" ‘After I got to know the President,’ House said, ‘I learned the best way to convert him to an idea was to plant it in his mind casually, but so as to interest him in it – so as to get him thinking about it on his own account. The first time this worked it was an accident. I had been visiting him at the White House and urged a policy on him which he appeared to disapprove. But several days later, at the

dinner table, I was amazed to hear him trot out my suggestion as his own.’ "
Did House interrupt him and say, "That’s not your idea. That’s mine" ? Oh, no. Not House. He was too adroit for that. He didn’t care about credit. He wanted results. So he let Wilson continue to feel that the idea was his. House did even more than that. He gave Wilson public credit for these ideas.
Let’s remember that everyone we come in contact with is just as human as Woodrow Wilson. So let’s use Colonel House’s technique.

Daily Affirmation: Today I allow others to take credit!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why We Must Let Others Talk…

To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. Chinese Proverb

let’em do the talking…

Research shows that in a 2 person conversation when Person A does more of the talking, they think that Person B is impressive!! It’s as simple as that. Let others talk, most people like to talk and hear their own voice, let’s give them that pleasure! How does this benefit us? We understand others better and gain their confidence!! All because we let them talk!! A total win-win…

life principles

15th Dale Carnegie Principle: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Here’s a story from the book:

A large advertisement appeared on the financial page of a New York newspaper calling for a person with unusual ability and experience. Charles T. Cubellis answered the advertisement, sending his reply to a box number. A few days later, he was invited by letter to call for an interview. Before he called, he spent hours in Wall Street finding out everything possible about the person who had founded the business. During the interview, he remarked: "I should be mighty proud to be associated with an organization with a record like yours. I understand you started twenty-eight years ago with nothing but desk room and one stenographer. Is that true?"
Almost every successful person likes to reminisce about his early struggles. This man was no exception. He talked for a long time about how he had started with $450 in cash and an original idea. He told how he had fought against discouragement and battled against ridicule, working Sundays and holidays, twelve to sixteen hours a day; how he had finally won against all odds until now the most important executives on Wall Street were coming to him for information and guidance. He was proud of such a record. He had a right to be, and he had a splendid time telling about it. Finally, he questioned Mr. Cubellis briefly about his experience, then called in one of his vice presidents and said: "I think this is the person we are looking for."
Mr. Cubellis had taken the trouble to find out about the accomplishments of his prospective employer. He showed an interest in the other person and his problems. He encouraged the other person to do most of the talking – and made a favorable impression.

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM a listener!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why Are We Not Loved?

What does it mean to you to allow another person to fully love you? 

our deepest need

We often feel that we aren’t loved. We feel lonely and neglected. We don’t feel important. Why is life so tough we think. Why me?

Our deepest need is to receive selfless and unblemished love. We want to be nurtured and treasured. Where can we find such love?

opening to love

Sorry, more questions…

What part to do we play in all this? Why do we close self to others’ care? Where do we feel inadequate and undeserving? Where do we sense a guilt inside us? Do we push others and even God away? When will we stop this self-sabotage? How can we receive love? How can we open self to God?

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM a receiver of bountiful love…

Recommendation: Deep Meditation for Healing by Anita Moorjani

Deep Meditation for HealingKindle Fire, Full Color 7