Tag Archives: relationships

Why We Must Praise First!

Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is painkilling.Dale Carnegie

begin with praise!

If we have to find fault with another and convey news that might not be palatable to their ego then how should we do it? We can start by genuinely praising the individual. This sets the stage to deliver the harsh truth. It opens the individual up to receive the truth about their actions. Let’s be practitioners of the ‘Art of Relationships’!

leadership principles

22nd Dale Carnegie Principle: Begin with praise and honest appreciation..

Here’s a story from the book:

A friend of mine was a guest at the White House for a weekend during the administration of Calvin Coolidge. Drifting into the President’s private office, he heard Coolidge say to one of his secretaries, "That’s a pretty dress you are wearing this morning, and you are a very attractive young woman."
That was probably the most effusive praise Silent Cal had ever bestowed upon a secretary in his life. It was so unusual, so unexpected, that the secretary blushed in confusion. Then Coolidge said, "Now, don’t get stuck up. I just said that to make you feel good. From now on, I wish you would be a little bit more careful with your Punctuation."
His method was probably a bit obvious, but the psychology was superb. It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.

Daily Affirmation: Today I praise first!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why Love Is The Answer…

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.  – William M. Thackeray

love

People will irritate us. They will be selfish and thoughtless. They will often disappoint us. Relationships will sometimes result in sorrow. Let’s love anyway…

more love

To love is the highest action we can undertake. Being love is the highest way to be. Love is the fabric of this universe, it’s the defining principle and very purpose of all life. Nothing can go ‘wrong’ when we love in response to anyone and any situation.

Daily Affirmation: Today I live and breathe love…

Recommendation: Love: What Life Is All About by Leo F. Buscaglia

Love: What Life Is All AboutKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why We Are Ignorant!

Self-rescue comes closer each time we voluntarily come face to face with our own ignorance.  – Vernon Howard

self-awareness

Life is nothing but a journey towards greater self-awareness. If we are to be happy and therefore successful, we must face our shortcomings and blind-spots. What is it that comes in our way?

chutzpah

Our ego get’s in the way. Here’s a great article shared by a friend on Why Smart People Are Stupid! We think we’re so smart that we neglect to notice our own short-comings. The work-around is to become more self-aware and humble. Humility will bestow its timeless gift to us only if we acknowledge and accept its presence!

Daily Affirmation: Today I move in humility…

Recommendation: The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power by Vernon Howard

The Mystic Path to Cosmic PowerKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why It’s Time To Grow Up!

I am not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.  – Fritz Perls

expectations

The single factor that guarantees relationship problems is ‘expectations’. What do we expect from others? From our spouse or our boss? What should my sibling or parents be doing for me? In the same vein, how do we fall short in others’ eyes? What pressure do we feel, daily, to measure up to what others may want from us?

maturity

Let’s all grow up. Let’s not tie our happiness to what others must do for us. Let’s feel at ease about what we think we must do for others. Let’s do for others all we can in love and for no other reason.

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM Love and need nothing in return…

Recommendation: The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler

The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World With KindnessKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why We Might Challenge Others!

The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit.  – Dale Carnegie

challenge!

To encourage action consider throwing down a challenge! An appropriate challenge will galvanize action like nothing else! A human’s ego is a very sensitive appendage, touch it in the right way and it’ll make the human do the unexpected. It goes without saying that the challenge must be a genuine effort and not manipulation.

life principles

20th Dale Carnegie Principle: Throw down a challenge!

Here’s a story from the book:

Sing Sing, at the time the most notorious penitentiary west of Devil’s Island, was without a warden. Scandals had been sweeping through the pristin walls, scandals and ugly rumors. Smith needed a strong man to rule Sing Sing – an iron man. But who? He sent for Lewis E. Lawes of New Hampton.
"How about going up to take charge of Sing Sing?" he said jovially when Lawes stood before him. "They need a man up there with experience."
Lawes was flabbergasted. He knew the dangers of Sing Sing. It was a political appointment, subject to the vagaries of political whims. Wardens had come and gone – one had lasted only three weeks. He had a career to consider. Was it worth the risk?
Then Smith, who saw his hesitation, leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Young fellow," he said, "I don’t blame you for being scared. It’s a tough spot. It’ll take a big person to go up there and stay."
So Smith was throwing down a challenge, was he? Lawes liked the idea of attempting a job that called for someone "big."
So he went. And he stayed. He stayed, to become the most famous warden of his time. His book 20,000 Years in Sing Sing sold into the

hundred of thousands of copies. His broadcasts on the air and his stories of prison life have inspired dozens of movies. His "humanizing" of criminals wrought miracles in the way of prison reform.

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM a challenger!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

How To Restore Self…

All forgiveness is a gift to yourself.  – A Course in Miracles (ACIM)

expectation = resentment

We build resentment daily. Mostly with others, when they don’t quite do what we expect them to do. And with self because life (or the day) isn’t going quite as we expect it to. Resentment with self is very subtle and we have to pay special attention to unearth this self-hatred…

gift to self

Forgiving others and self just once or occasionally isn’t enough. It’s a daily muscle we must develop. When we forgive daily, especially during prayer, we’ll feel an amazing lightness of being. Consequently we’ll be more joyous and healthy!

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM ALL forgiving…

Recommendation: A Course in Miracles by Dr. Helen Schucman

A Course in Miracles: Combined VolumeKindle Fire, Full Color 7

How Does It Benefit Us All?

Appeal to one’s nobler motives. Dale Carnegie

our nobler motives…

How can we convince someone or enroll them to support our vision? How can we gain anyone’s cooperation? Love the story below, one cool way we can meet with just about anyone including famous people is to do something similar. We could contact their office and promise to pay a nice sum to their favorite charity for just 5 minutes of their time! Inherently we all want to be enablers of the ‘larger good’, it’s hard to decline an appeal to our nobler motives!

life principles

19th Dale Carnegie Principle: Appeal to the nobler motives.

Here’s a story from the book:

When Cyrus H. K. Curtis, the poor boy from Maine, was starting on his meteoric career, which was destined to make him millions as owner of The Saturday Evening Post and the Ladies’ Home Journal, he couldn’t afford to pay his contributors the prices that other magazines paid. He couldn’t afford to hire first-class authors to write for money alone. So he appealed to their nobler motives. For example, he persuaded even Louisa May Alcott, the immortal author of Little Women, to write for him when she was at the flood tide of her fame; and he did it by offering to send a check for a hundred dollars, not to her, but to her favorite charity.

Daily Affirmation: Today I name names!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7