Category Archives: Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

How To Use Honey!

A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. – Abraham Lincoln

honey?

How we begin an interaction is probably more important than the rest of the conversation. ‘First impressions’ last the longest. Genuine and hear-felt friendliness will ultimately melt even the toughest exterior. Let’s start each such exchange with a real smile and a softness that reveals our own deep nature; then watch how all our relationships blossom!

life principles

13th Dale Carnegie Principle: Begin in a friendly way.

Here’s an example from the book:

Daniel Webster, who looked like a god and talked like Jehovah, was one of the most successful advocates who ever pleaded a case; yet he ushered in his most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as: "It will be for the jury to consider," "This may perhaps be worth thinking of," " Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of," or "You, with your knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts." No bulldozing. No high-pressure methods. No attempt to force his opinions on others. Webster used the soft-spoken, quiet, friendly approach, and it helped to make him famous.

Daily Affirmation: Today I begin with love!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

When Are We Wrong?

It raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes. – Dale Carnegie

I’m wrong

Last week we explored why no one else should ever be tagged as being ‘wrong’! Without belittling ourselves we should be strong enough to admit, and without equivocation, when we are wrong. Let’s leave no question on the table that in any situation where we’re wrong, everyone involved should know so, we can then move on… Such an approach will go a long way in building trust and guaranteeing long term relationships… 

life principles

12th Dale Carnegie Principle: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Here’s an illustrative story from the book:

Ferdinand E. Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art.
"It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing purposes, to be precise and very exact," Mr. Warren said as he told the story.
"Some art editors demand that their commissions be executed immediately; and in these cases, some slight error is liable to occur. I knew one art director in particular who was always delighted to find fault with some little thing. I have often left his office in disgust, not because of the criticism, but because of his method of attack. Recently I delivered a rush job to this editor, and he phoned me to call at his office immediately. He said something was wrong. When I arrived, I found just what I had anticipated – and dreaded. He was hostile, gloating over his chance to criticize. He demanded with heat why I had done so and so. My opportunity had come to apply the self-criticism I had been studying about. So I said: ”Mr. So-and-so, if what you say is true, I am at fault and there is absolutely no excuse for my blunder. I have been doing drawings for you long enough to know bet-ter. I’m ashamed of myself.’
"Immediately he started to defend me. ‘Yes, you’re right, but after all, this isn’t a serious mistake. It is only -‘
"I interrupted him. ‘Any mistake,’ I said, ‘may be costly and they are all irritating.’
"He started to break in, but I wouldn’t let him. I was having a grand time. For the first time in my life, I was criticizing myself – and I loved it.
" ‘I should have been more careful,’ I continued. ‘You give me a lot of work, and you deserve the best; so I’m going to do this drawing all over.’
" ‘No! No!’ he protested. ‘I wouldn’t think of putting you to all that trouble.’ He praised my work, assured me that he wanted only a minor change and that my slight error hadn’t cost his firm any money; and, after all, it was a mere detail – not worth worrying about.
"My eagerness to criticize myself took all the fight out of him. He ended up by taking me to lunch; and before we parted, he gave me a check and another commission"
There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.

Daily Affirmation: Today I readily admit it when I’m wrong!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Stillness

Why No One Is Ever Wrong!

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him find it within himself. – Galileo

you’re wrong

We’re told that we must be transparent and say it like it is. Nothing wrong with that sentiment however it never helps to inform someone that they’re wrong! Especially when it’s done in a very direct non-emotional way. We don’t have to skirt the issue but like with most things in life, balance is necessary. How can we let someone know that they’re wrong? 

life principles

11th Dale Carnegie Principle: Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

Here’s an excerpt from the book attributed to Carl Rogers who wrote the book ‘On Becoming a Person”

Our first reaction to most statements is an evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. … Our tendency is almost immediately to feel, "that’s right," or "that’s stupid," "that’s abnormal," that’s unreasonable," "that’s incorrect," "that’s not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statements is to the other person.

Daily Affirmation: Today I truly understand what others say!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

How To Win Any Argument!

A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still. – Dale Carnegie

don’t argue

The best way to win an argument is to lose it! What do we really gain from being right? By being right we do affirm ourselves and feel good, however we do the opposite to the other party. Is it really worth it? In the longer run will it really matter who’s right? What would happen if we genuinely stop caring about being always right? Why not let the other person be right, especially when it truly doesn’t matter!?

life principles

10th Dale Carnegie Principle: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Here’s a story from the book:

"I was attending a banquet one night given in Sir Ross’s honor; and during the dinner, the man sitting next to me told a humorous story which hinged on the quotation “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will.”
The raconteur mentioned that the quotation was from the Bible. He was wrong. I knew that, I knew it positively. There couldn’t be the slightest doubt about it. And so, to get a feeling of importance and display my superiority, I appointed myself as an unsolicited and unwelcome committee of one to correct him. He stuck to his guns. What? From Shakespeare? Impossible! Absurd! That quotation was from the Bible. And he knew it.
The storyteller was sitting on my right; and Frank Gammond, an old friend of mine, was seated at my left. Mr. Gammond had devoted years to the study of Shakespeare, So the storyteller and I agreed to submit the question to Mr. Gammond. Mr. Gammond listened, kicked me under the table, and then said: “Dale, you are wrong. The gentleman is right. It is from the Bible.”
On our way home that night, I said to Mr. Gammond, “Frank, you knew that quotation was from Shakespeare,”
“Yes, of course,” he replied, “Hamlet, Act Five, Scene Two. But we were guests at a festive occasion, my dear Dale. Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle.” The man who said that taught me a lesson I’ll never forget. I not only had made the storyteller uncomfortable, but had put my friend in an embarrassing situation. How much better it would have been had I not become argumentative.”

Daily Affirmation: Today I’ll let others win!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

Who’s More Important?

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. – William James

who?

Whenever we’re chatting with another person it behooves us to listen and to pay proper attention. The other person must be more important than anything else on our minds. If this is not the case we shouldn’t be chatting, we should politely leave the conversation. Let’s discover why the other person is important to us and express that sentiment!

life principles

9th Dale Carnegie Principle: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Here’s a story from the book:

Chris was a very quiet, shy boy lacking in self-confidence, the kind of student that often does not receive the attention he deserves. I also teach an advanced class that had grown to be somewhat of a status symbol and a privilege for a student to have earned the right to be in it.

On Wednesday, Chris was diligently working at his desk. I really felt there was a hidden fire deep inside him. I asked Chris if he would like to be in the advanced class. How I wish I could express the look in Chris’s face, the emotions in that shy fourteen-year-old boy, trying to hold back his tears.

“Who me, Mr. Rowland? Am I good enough?”

“Yes, Chris you are good enough”

I had to leave at that point because tears were coming to my eyes. As Chris walked out of class that day, seemingly two inches taller, he looked at me with bright blue eyes and said in a positive voice, “Thank you, Mr. Rowland.”

Chris taught me a lesson I will never forget—our deep desire to feel important. To help me never forget this rule, I made a sign which reads, “YOU ARE IMPORTANT.” This sign hangs in the front of the classroom for all to see and to remind me that each student I face is equally important

Daily Affirmation: Today I know who’s more important!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

How To Interest People…

The really great man is the man who makes every man feel great. – G. K. Chesterton

interesting others

Most people love to talk! We should let them! Not only that, ideally, whenever we open our mouths we should focus on what’s most important to the other person. And lets do so genuinely. Relationship success is thus guaranteed!

life principles

8th Dale Carnegie Principle: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

An excerpt from the book:

Everyone who was ever a guest of Theodore Roosevelt was astonished at the range and diversity of his knowledge. Whether his visitor was a cowboy or a Rough Rider, a New York politician or a diplomat, Roosevelt knew what to say. And how was it done? The answer was simple. Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested.
For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.

Daily Affirmation: Today I focus on others…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

What’s In A Name?

We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with who we are dealing… – Dale Carnegie

what’s in a name?

Everything! How does it sound when someone calls our name, and that too sweetly? It sounds divine even when we don’t consciously realize it! This then is a simple way to endear self to others: Remember names and use them profusely!

life principles

6th Dale Carnegie Principle: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Here’s a story from the book:

Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephew of the great Napoleon, boasted that in spite of all his royal duties he could remember the name of every person he met.

His technique? Simple. If he didn’t hear the name distinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is it spelled?”

During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance.

If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soon as His Royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked at it, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and then tore up the paper. In this way, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.

Daily Affirmation: Today I name names!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7