Tag Archives: relationships

Why No One Is Ever Wrong!

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him find it within himself. Galileo

you’re wrong

We’re told that we must be transparent and say it like it is. Nothing wrong with that sentiment however it never helps to inform someone that they’re wrong! Especially when it’s done in a very direct non-emotional way. We don’t have to skirt the issue but like with most things in life, balance is necessary. How can we let someone know that they’re wrong? 

life principles

11th Dale Carnegie Principle: Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

Here’s an excerpt from the book attributed to Carl Rogers who wrote the book ‘On Becoming a Person

Our first reaction to most statements is an evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. … Our tendency is almost immediately to feel, "that’s right," or "that’s stupid," "that’s abnormal," that’s unreasonable," "that’s incorrect," "that’s not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statements is to the other person.

Daily Affirmation: Today I truly understand what others say!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Who’s At Fault?

I searched for the crooked, met not a single one
When searched myself, I found the crooked one!

Kabir

crooked?

Our ego plays games with us. We always find fault in the others’ behavior. It’s not us, it’s the other who ought to change. What’s going on?

moi?

Kabir is not saying that we’re despicable & devious and therefore should we sulk in shame. He’s suggesting, IMO, that we consider changing our own perspective before jumping to conclusions and always attributing fault outside of self. We ought to change our own perspective and consider how we are looking at things. Like Gandhi said ‘We must be the change we want to see in the world’…

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM reflective…

Recommendation: Kabir – Spiritual Commentary by Yoga Niketan

Kabir - Spiritual Commentary by Sri Sri Shyama Charan Lahiri MahasayaKindle Fire, Full Color 7

What Matters Most?

What will matter to us most when we are old?Questions…

time is passing

With every breath and with each passing day, time is passing. It’s passing much faster than we realize. What can that mean to us? How are we utilizing this amazing talent that’s been gifted to us?

most important

We must all decide what’s most important to us. What is it that matters most? When we explore this individually and collectively what values become clear and most dear?

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM discovering what matters most!

Recommendation: The Urantia Papers

The Urantia Book: Indexed Version with free Audio Book on DVD (Can only be played on a computer with a DVD drive.)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

How Can We Be More Real?

Do you think crying is a sign of weakness?Questions…

cry?

Why do so many of us hesitate to cry? Why can’t we fully express ourselves? What are we afraid of? What’ll happen if others see us as we truly are? What’s the worst-case scenario when we are real with others and self?

transparency

There’s real value in expressing who we truly are. When we do that we find self. What we don’t like about self will emerge. What we love will also emerge. We may not be the best judge of what’s good or not so good within us. If we don’t express fully, the best of us will stay submerged inside us just like the worst. Let it all come out. We can be adults, we will deal with it! We will change what’s necessary…

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM fearlessly real!

Recommendation: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Marilee G Adams

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work (BK Life (Paperback))Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

How To Interest People…

The really great man is the man who makes every man feel great. G. K. Chesterton

interesting others

Most people love to talk! We should let them! Not only that, ideally, whenever we open our mouths we should focus on what’s most important to the other person. And lets do so genuinely. Relationship success is thus guaranteed!

life principles

8th Dale Carnegie Principle: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

An excerpt from the book:

Everyone who was ever a guest of Theodore Roosevelt was astonished at the range and diversity of his knowledge. Whether his visitor was a cowboy or a Rough Rider, a New York politician or a diplomat, Roosevelt knew what to say. And how was it done? The answer was simple. Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested.
For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.

Daily Affirmation: Today I focus on others…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

What’s In A Name?

We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with who we are dealing…Dale Carnegie

what’s in a name?

Everything! How does it sound when someone calls our name, and that too sweetly? It sounds divine even when we don’t consciously realize it! This then is a simple way to endear self to others: Remember names and use them profusely!

life principles

6th Dale Carnegie Principle: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Here’s a story from the book:

Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephew of the great Napoleon, boasted that in spite of all his royal duties he could remember the name of every person he met.

His technique? Simple. If he didn’t hear the name distinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is it spelled?”

During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance.

If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soon as His Royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked at it, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and then tore up the paper. In this way, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.

Daily Affirmation: Today I name names!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

What’s Real In Our Lives?

Have we done anything lately that’s worth remembering?Questions

mostly stuff

While all we see around us is real and beautiful, it’s only just stuff. The house is stuff, the car is stuff, the clothes are stuff, the career and the business is also stuff. Time spent figuring our the next purchase or corporate maneuver is likely of no eternal import.

relationship memories

Put people together and sparks begin to fly! And that’s good and bad sparks. That’s the real stuff. The meanings and values that emerge from relationships and engagements is what we’re really here to create. We’re here to create memories. Which is why every interaction with every human being can be a holy experience. What if all life on our planet was lived with that perspective!?

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM focused on people not stuff!

Recommendation: True Purpose by Tim Kelley

True Purpose: 12 Strategies for Discovering the Difference You Are Meant to MakeKindle Fire, Full Color 7