What Makes A Strong Character?

…the measure of your human strength of character is your ability to resist the holding of grudges and your capacity to withstand brooding in the face of deep sorrow.  – The Urantia Papers, (156:5.17)

relationships

The biggest problem building and repairing relationships has to do with our holding of grudges and resentments. How often do we behave like little kids, getting mad with others and with life? How long do we stay in such moods? When do we plan to stop throwing these tantrums Smile?

life is short

Life is extremely short. We get reminded of this reality quite often. Notice the person who died suddenly leaving her family behind. Also notice folks who are terminally ill. Life on this planet is not guaranteed. The only thing we can guarantee is our own attitude towards life. We can only control our own thoughts. When we forgive others, life and our selves, we feel better and buoyant!  When we let go of resentments we free ourselves and give self full permission to live! We end up with healthier minds and bodies. We are happier! What’s stopping us??

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM forgiving!

Recommendation: The Urantia Papers

The Urantia Book: Indexed Version with free Audio Book on DVD (Can only be played on a computer with a DVD drive.)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

When Are We Wrong?

It raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes. Dale Carnegie

I’m wrong

Last week we explored why no one else should ever be tagged as being ‘wrong’! Without belittling ourselves we should be strong enough to admit, and without equivocation, when we are wrong. Let’s leave no question on the table that in any situation where we’re wrong, everyone involved should know so, we can then move on… Such an approach will go a long way in building trust and guaranteeing long term relationships… 

life principles

12th Dale Carnegie Principle: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Here’s an illustrative story from the book:

Ferdinand E. Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art.
"It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing purposes, to be precise and very exact," Mr. Warren said as he told the story.
"Some art editors demand that their commissions be executed immediately; and in these cases, some slight error is liable to occur. I knew one art director in particular who was always delighted to find fault with some little thing. I have often left his office in disgust, not because of the criticism, but because of his method of attack. Recently I delivered a rush job to this editor, and he phoned me to call at his office immediately. He said something was wrong. When I arrived, I found just what I had anticipated – and dreaded. He was hostile, gloating over his chance to criticize. He demanded with heat why I had done so and so. My opportunity had come to apply the self-criticism I had been studying about. So I said: ”Mr. So-and-so, if what you say is true, I am at fault and there is absolutely no excuse for my blunder. I have been doing drawings for you long enough to know bet-ter. I’m ashamed of myself.’
"Immediately he started to defend me. ‘Yes, you’re right, but after all, this isn’t a serious mistake. It is only -‘
"I interrupted him. ‘Any mistake,’ I said, ‘may be costly and they are all irritating.’
"He started to break in, but I wouldn’t let him. I was having a grand time. For the first time in my life, I was criticizing myself – and I loved it.
" ‘I should have been more careful,’ I continued. ‘You give me a lot of work, and you deserve the best; so I’m going to do this drawing all over.’
" ‘No! No!’ he protested. ‘I wouldn’t think of putting you to all that trouble.’ He praised my work, assured me that he wanted only a minor change and that my slight error hadn’t cost his firm any money; and, after all, it was a mere detail – not worth worrying about.
"My eagerness to criticize myself took all the fight out of him. He ended up by taking me to lunch; and before we parted, he gave me a check and another commission"
There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.

Daily Affirmation: Today I readily admit it when I’m wrong!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why We Must Thank YOU!

But now," says the Once-ler, "now that you’re here, the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear. UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

you’re here!

You are here. You are listening. You know something’s afoot. Bigger changes have occurred in the last 50 years than in the preceding centuries. More changes are headed our way. How will we support the world-wide transition that’s underway? How will we individually and collectively act and collaborate?

thank you!

Thank you for being you! Thank you for having an ear out for what’s going on. Thank you for participating…

Let’s keep our focus on what we care about individually and find opportunities to hook into larger efforts. With everyone participating according to their passion, the world is headed towards the transformation we’ve all sought for a long time. It’s coming, let’s be ready!

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM Ready!

Recommendation: The Lorax (Classic Seuss) by Dr. Seuss

The Lorax (Classic Seuss)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

Do We Care Enough?

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

nothing will get better

Nothing, unless we care, unless you care…

you care?

We may care about just one thing. Let’s identify what that one thing is and devote a part of lives to it. Simple. Small steps taken daily achieve great results over time. Let’s just do it!

Daily Affirmation: Today I identify what I care about…

Recommendation: The Lorax (Classic Seuss) by Dr. Seuss

The Lorax (Classic Seuss)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

What Can It or I Be?

It’s not about what it is, it’s about what it can become.Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

what is

It’s not about what we are today or what we think we are. It’s not about what a situation is today or what we think it is.

We should stop thinking about the ‘problem’. We may approach life as if it’s a game, because it is a massively simulated reality in which we play pivotal roles… We can never be lost, we can’t ultimately be hurt, we are like children in a playground…

vs. what can be

It’s all about potential, it’s about dreams, it’s about our vision, it’s about what tomorrow can be. It’s about us on this planet.

It’s about what’s possible…

So let’s play as though there’s nothing to lose, there is nothing to lose. But a whole lot to gain! We ultimately gain us, our complete self. We understand, finally, how this all fits in and how we’re all related… We gain a brand new world, one of very own dreams!!

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM possibilitarian!!

Recommendation: The Lorax (Classic Seuss) by Dr. Seuss

The Lorax (Classic Seuss)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

Unless!

Unless!Dr. Seuss

question

Had the pleasure of watching The Lorax this past weekend. It’s not the best movie out there but certainly one that carries a message that deserves to be heard… The kids loved it!

Unless we start to…

  • Think about things
  • Find time to acknowledge what’s missing in our lives
  • Figure out what plagues society

We won’t really change anything

act

Once we know what’s missing or what’s wrong we can start to figure out what we might do. What any one of us does is better than all of us thinking that not much can be done…

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM thinking about things…

Recommendation: The Lorax (Classic Seuss) by Dr. Seuss

The Lorax (Classic Seuss)Kindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why No One Is Ever Wrong!

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him find it within himself. Galileo

you’re wrong

We’re told that we must be transparent and say it like it is. Nothing wrong with that sentiment however it never helps to inform someone that they’re wrong! Especially when it’s done in a very direct non-emotional way. We don’t have to skirt the issue but like with most things in life, balance is necessary. How can we let someone know that they’re wrong? 

life principles

11th Dale Carnegie Principle: Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

Here’s an excerpt from the book attributed to Carl Rogers who wrote the book ‘On Becoming a Person

Our first reaction to most statements is an evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. … Our tendency is almost immediately to feel, "that’s right," or "that’s stupid," "that’s abnormal," that’s unreasonable," "that’s incorrect," "that’s not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statements is to the other person.

Daily Affirmation: Today I truly understand what others say!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Be, Here, Now…