Category Archives: Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

Why We Give Others a Good Name?

"Give a dog a bad name and you may as well hang him." But give him a good name – and see what happens! – Dale Carnegie

a good name

Instead of tearing people down to force them to do things differently we should consider giving them a good name instead. When done in a genuine fashion the other person can’t help but live up to that ‘good name’. The story below is illustrative of this approach, let’s try to use this principle daily!

life principles

28th Dale Carnegie Principle: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to…

Here’s a story from the book:

When Mrs. Ruth Hopkins, a fourth-grade teacher in Brooklyn, New York, looked at her class roster the first day of school, her excitement and joy of starting a new term was tinged with anxiety. In her class this year she would have Tommy T., the school’s most notorious "bad boy." His third-grade teacher had constantly complained about Tommy to colleagues, the principal and anyone else who would listen. He was not just mischievous; he caused serious discipline problems in the class, picked fights with the boys, teased the girls, was fresh to the teacher, and seemed to get worse as he grew older. His only redeeming feature was his ability to learn rapidly and master the-school work easily.

Mrs. Hopkins decided to face the "Tommy problem" immediately. When she greeted her new students, she made little comments to each of them: "Rose, that’s a pretty dress you are wearing," "Alicia, I hear you draw beautifully." When she came to Tommy, she looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Tommy, I understand you are a natural leader. I’m going to depend on you to help me make this class the best class in the fourth grade this year." She reinforced this over the first few days by complimenting Tommy on everything he did and commenting on how this showed what a good student he was. With that reputation to live up to, even a nine-year-old couldn’t let her down – and he didn’t.

Daily Affirmation: Today I give others a good name!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

“Praise Is Like Sunlight”

Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. – Jess Lair

praise!

It’s so easy to criticize and to gossip. Why can’t we find it easier to stay positive? What is it about critiquing and gossiping that always get’s the better of us? Can we take the high road instead? Yes we can!

life principles

27th Dale Carnegie Principle: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement .

Here’s a story from the book:

"We decided to try praise instead of harping on their faults. It wasn’t easy when all we could see were the negative things they were doing; it was really tough to find things to praise. We managed to find something, and within the first day or two some of the really upsetting things they were doing quit happening. Then some of their other faults began to disappear. They began capitalizing on the praise we were giving them. They even began going out of their way to do things right. Neither of us could believe it. Of course, it didn’t last forever, but the norm reached after things leveled off was so much better. It was no longer necessary to react the way we used to. The children were doing far more right things than wrong ones." All of this was a result of praising the slightest improvement in the children rather than condemning everything they did wrong.

Daily Affirmation: Today I praise the slightest improvement!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

Building Great Relationships…

A real leader will always follow. – Dale Carnegie

saving face…

We all have a tendency to save our own face. What if we let others save theirs’? What will that do to their self-confidence? How will they view us? What better way to build a great relationship? Let’s truly trust someone else by helping save their face…

life principles

26th Dale Carnegie Principle: Let the other person save face..

Here’s a story from the book:

Years ago the General Electric Company was faced with the delicate task of removing Charles Steinmetz from the head of a department. Steinmetz, a genius of the first magnitude when it came to electricity, was a failure as the head of the calculating department. Yet the company didn’t dare offend the man. He was indispensable – and highly sensitive. So they gave him a new title. They made him Consulting Engineer of the General Electric Company – a new title for work he was already doing -and let someone else head up the department.
Steinmetz was happy.
So were the officers of G.E. They had gently maneuvered their most temperamental star, and they had done it without a storm – by letting him save face.

Daily Affirmation: Today I let others save face…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

Why We Must Ask Instead Of Telling…

Are you asking me or telling me? – Sheldon Cooper

ask first…

Asking people their opinion about a task, seeking their input and involving them in the decision making are the proven ways to solicit cooperation. Just telling them what to do, even if we have authority over them will never work in the longer run. And this approach applies to all people even children. How can we become more aware when we tell instead of asking?

life principles

25th Dale Carnegie Principle: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Here’s a story from the book:

When Ian Macdonald of Johannesburg, South Africa, the general manager of a small manufacturing plant specializing in precision machine parts, had the opportunity to accept a very large order, he was convinced that he would not meet the promised delivery date. The work already scheduled in the shop and the short completion time needed for this order made it seem impossible for him to accept the order.
Instead of pushing his people to accelerate their work and rush the order through, he called everybody together, explained the situation to them, and told them how much it would mean to the company and to them if they could make it possible to produce the order on time. Then he started asking questions:
"Is there anything we can do to handle this order?"
"Can anyone think of different ways to process it through the shop that will make it possible to take the order?"
"Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel assignments that would help?"
The employees came up with many ideas and insisted that he take the order. They approached it with a "We can do it" attitude, and the order was accepted, produced and delivered on time.

Daily Affirmation: Today I ask before I tell…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

Why There’s A Plank In Our Eyes!

How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? – Matthew 7:4

us first

It’s so easy to point the finger at someone else. Why is that? What makes us so blinded to our own foibles and short-comings? Why do we become so full of self that we can’t see the myriad ways we need to change?

life principles

24th Dale Carnegie Principle: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Here’s a story from the book:

"Like many engineers, I have not been noted for my excellent English or spelling. For years I have kept a little black thumb – index book for words I had trouble spelling. When it became apparent that merely pointing out the errors was not going to cause my secretary to do more proofreading and dictionary work, I resolved to take another approach. When the next letter came to my attention that had errors in it, I sat down with the typist and said:
" ‘Somehow this word doesn’t look right. It’s one of the words I always have had trouble with. That’s the reason I started this spelling book of mine. [I opened the book to the appropriate page.] Yes, here it is. I’m very conscious of my spelling now because people do judge us by our letters and misspellings make us look less professional.
"I don’t know whether she copied my system or not, but since that conversation, her frequency of spelling errors has been significantly reduced."

Daily Affirmation: Today I fix my own mistakes before anyone else’s!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

Why Not To Say ‘But’!

Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell the difference between failure and success in changing people… – Dale Carnegie

but…

Who amongst us doesn’t make sentences like the following when talking to others?

“What you say makes a lot of sense but this is what I have to say…”

How effective is such an approach? What would happen if we replace the ‘but’ with an ‘and’? As soon as the other person hears us say ‘but’ they start to tune us out and build up mental defenses. When we want to point out an error in another’s way of doing (or being) something, let’s do so as tactfully as possible.

life principles

23rd Dale Carnegie Principle: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Here’s a story from the book:

Charles Schwab was passing through one of his steel mills one day at noon when he came across some of his employees smoking. Immediately above their heads was a sign that said "No Smoking." Did Schwab point to the sign and say, "Can’t you read.? Oh, no not Schwab. He walked over to the men, handed each one a cigar, and said, "I’ll appreciate it, boys, if you will smoke these on the outside." They knew that he knew that they had broken a rule – and they admired him because he said nothing about it and gave them a little present and made them feel important. Couldn’t keep from loving a man like that, could you?

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM an ‘and’, not a ‘but’ kind of person!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Dale Carnegie, Quotes - 2012

Why We Must Praise First!

Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is painkilling. – Dale Carnegie

begin with praise!

If we have to find fault with another and convey news that might not be palatable to their ego then how should we do it? We can start by genuinely praising the individual. This sets the stage to deliver the harsh truth. It opens the individual up to receive the truth about their actions. Let’s be practitioners of the ‘Art of Relationships’!

leadership principles

22nd Dale Carnegie Principle: Begin with praise and honest appreciation..

Here’s a story from the book:

A friend of mine was a guest at the White House for a weekend during the administration of Calvin Coolidge. Drifting into the President’s private office, he heard Coolidge say to one of his secretaries, "That’s a pretty dress you are wearing this morning, and you are a very attractive young woman."
That was probably the most effusive praise Silent Cal had ever bestowed upon a secretary in his life. It was so unusual, so unexpected, that the secretary blushed in confusion. Then Coolidge said, "Now, don’t get stuck up. I just said that to make you feel good. From now on, I wish you would be a little bit more careful with your Punctuation."
His method was probably a bit obvious, but the psychology was superb. It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.

Daily Affirmation: Today I praise first!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7