How to really understand someone

You truly understand another when you see him free from your personal feeling toward him. Vernon Howard 
Can we really see another as they are? To do that we would have to do at least two things:
  1. See them for who they are right now: Just be with them and not dwell on any thoughts about them, their past and what they might have done to you (good or bad). Just be, with them, now. Experience them.
  2. Listen to them at all levels: Listen to them so there’s no chatter in your mind while you listen and ensure that you’re not compiling your response to them, while they talk :)! Can you hear the flutter in their voice, the subtle nuances, the pain or joy? Can you notice their body language, facial expressions and what might lie under these expressions? Can you sense their being, their motive, their desires? All of this lies just under the words they speak. So listen deeply!
Meditation Tip #1 will help here! Reference: The 3 levels of listening (Co-active Coaching) Recommendation: The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle

One Response

03.10.09

[…] Practice is necessary. I often intend to listen deeply, but often forget. We ought to build a habit of it. Also we must be patient and receptive ourselves. We can be so if we’re calm, breathing easy and listening at very deep levels. […]

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