Category Archives: Dale Carnegie

Why We Might Challenge Others!

The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit.  – Dale Carnegie

challenge!

To encourage action consider throwing down a challenge! An appropriate challenge will galvanize action like nothing else! A human’s ego is a very sensitive appendage, touch it in the right way and it’ll make the human do the unexpected. It goes without saying that the challenge must be a genuine effort and not manipulation.

life principles

20th Dale Carnegie Principle: Throw down a challenge!

Here’s a story from the book:

Sing Sing, at the time the most notorious penitentiary west of Devil’s Island, was without a warden. Scandals had been sweeping through the pristin walls, scandals and ugly rumors. Smith needed a strong man to rule Sing Sing – an iron man. But who? He sent for Lewis E. Lawes of New Hampton.
"How about going up to take charge of Sing Sing?" he said jovially when Lawes stood before him. "They need a man up there with experience."
Lawes was flabbergasted. He knew the dangers of Sing Sing. It was a political appointment, subject to the vagaries of political whims. Wardens had come and gone – one had lasted only three weeks. He had a career to consider. Was it worth the risk?
Then Smith, who saw his hesitation, leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Young fellow," he said, "I don’t blame you for being scared. It’s a tough spot. It’ll take a big person to go up there and stay."
So Smith was throwing down a challenge, was he? Lawes liked the idea of attempting a job that called for someone "big."
So he went. And he stayed. He stayed, to become the most famous warden of his time. His book 20,000 Years in Sing Sing sold into the

hundred of thousands of copies. His broadcasts on the air and his stories of prison life have inspired dozens of movies. His "humanizing" of criminals wrought miracles in the way of prison reform.

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM a challenger!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

How Does It Benefit Us All?

Appeal to one’s nobler motives. Dale Carnegie

our nobler motives…

How can we convince someone or enroll them to support our vision? How can we gain anyone’s cooperation? Love the story below, one cool way we can meet with just about anyone including famous people is to do something similar. We could contact their office and promise to pay a nice sum to their favorite charity for just 5 minutes of their time! Inherently we all want to be enablers of the ‘larger good’, it’s hard to decline an appeal to our nobler motives!

life principles

19th Dale Carnegie Principle: Appeal to the nobler motives.

Here’s a story from the book:

When Cyrus H. K. Curtis, the poor boy from Maine, was starting on his meteoric career, which was destined to make him millions as owner of The Saturday Evening Post and the Ladies’ Home Journal, he couldn’t afford to pay his contributors the prices that other magazines paid. He couldn’t afford to hire first-class authors to write for money alone. So he appealed to their nobler motives. For example, he persuaded even Louisa May Alcott, the immortal author of Little Women, to write for him when she was at the flood tide of her fame; and he did it by offering to send a check for a hundred dollars, not to her, but to her favorite charity.

Daily Affirmation: Today I name names!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

The Key To Another’s Heart…

Next to love, sympathy is the divinest passion of the human heart. Edmund Burke

sympathy

We all need love and understanding. When we don’t get it we feel hurt. When we do receive sympathy we feel better almost immediately. To genuinely make the other person feel better is the key to winning them over. When our life is more about others than self, we are happy and so are they!

life principles

18th Dale Carnegie Principle: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

Here’s a story from the book:

Jay Mangum represented an elevator-escalator maintenance company in Tulsa, Oklahoma, which had the maintenance contract for the escalators in one of Tulsa’s leading hotels. The hotel manager did not want to shut down the escalator for more than two hours at a time because he did not want to inconvenience the hotel’s guests. The repair that had to be made would take at least eight hours, and his company did not always have a specially qualified mechanic available at the convenience of the hotel.
When Mr. Mangum was able to schedule a top-flight mechanic for this job, he telephoned the hotel manager and instead of arguing with him to give him the necessary time, he said:
"Rick, I know your hotel is quite busy and you would like to keep the escalator shutdown time to a minimum. I understand your concern

about this, and we want to do everything possible to accommodate you. However, our diagnosis of the situation shows that if we do not do a complete job now, your escalator may suffer more serious damage and that would cause a much longer shutdown. I know you would not want to inconvenience your guests for several days."
The manager had to agree that an eight-hour shut down was more desirable than several days’. By sympathizing with the manager’s desire to keep his patrons happy, Mr. Mangum was able to win the hotel manager to his way of thinking easily and without rancor.

Daily Affirmation: Today I understand the hurt others feel…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Where Do They Come From?

There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason and you have the key to his … personality. Dale Carnegie

what??

People and their antics befuddle us daily! What are they up to and why do they do the same things again and again!? We never really understand why people do what they do. What would happen if we took time to understand them? What if we discover their true motivations, fears, assumptions, hopes and desires?

life principles

17th Dale Carnegie Principle: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Here’s a story from the book:

Seeing things through another person’s eyes may ease tensions when personal problems become overwhelming. Elizabeth Novak of New South Wales, Australia, was six weeks late with her car payment. "On a Friday," she reported, "I received a nasty phone call from the man who was handling my account informing me if I did not come up with $122 by Monday morning I could anticipate further action from the company. I had no way of raising the money over the weekend, so when I received his phone call first thing on Monday morning I expected the worst. Instead of becoming upset I looked at the situation from his point of view. I apologized most sincerely for causing him so much inconvenience and remarked that I must be his most troublesome customer as this was not the first time I was behind in my payments. His tone of voice changed immediately, and he reassured me that I was far from being one of his really troublesome customers. He went on to tell me several examples of how rude his customers sometimes were, how they lied to him and often tried to avoid talking to him at all. I said nothing. I listened and let him pour out his troubles to me. Then, without any suggestion from me, he said it did not matter if I couldn’t pay all the money immediately. It would be all right if I paid him $20 by the end of the month and made up the balance whenever it was convenient for me to do so.

Daily Affirmation: Today I understand first…

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

How to Please Your Spouse or Your Manager!

The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. Lao Tse

it’s their idea…

An easy way to win friends and gain cooperation is to let them take credit for your idea. We all feel a need to be right. We all want to be credited justly. Does it really matter? What’s more important, that we be right, or that the right outcome be achieved? If we believe in the inherent goodness of Life, then we won’t be so concerned about gaining credit. Let the other person think it’s their idea, we win a friend and gain their cooperation for a lifetime!

life principles

16th Dale Carnegie Principle: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Here’s a story from the book:

Colonel Edward M. House wielded an enormous influence in national and international affairs while Woodrow Wilson occupied the White House. Wilson leaned upon Colonel House for secret counsel and advice more than he did upon even members of his own cabinet.
What method did the Colonel use in influencing the President? Fortunately, we know, for House himself revealed it to Arthur D. Howden Smith, and Smith quoted House in an article in The Saturday Evening Post.
" ‘After I got to know the President,’ House said, ‘I learned the best way to convert him to an idea was to plant it in his mind casually, but so as to interest him in it – so as to get him thinking about it on his own account. The first time this worked it was an accident. I had been visiting him at the White House and urged a policy on him which he appeared to disapprove. But several days later, at the

dinner table, I was amazed to hear him trot out my suggestion as his own.’ "
Did House interrupt him and say, "That’s not your idea. That’s mine" ? Oh, no. Not House. He was too adroit for that. He didn’t care about credit. He wanted results. So he let Wilson continue to feel that the idea was his. House did even more than that. He gave Wilson public credit for these ideas.
Let’s remember that everyone we come in contact with is just as human as Woodrow Wilson. So let’s use Colonel House’s technique.

Daily Affirmation: Today I allow others to take credit!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

Why We Must Let Others Talk…

To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. Chinese Proverb

let’em do the talking…

Research shows that in a 2 person conversation when Person A does more of the talking, they think that Person B is impressive!! It’s as simple as that. Let others talk, most people like to talk and hear their own voice, let’s give them that pleasure! How does this benefit us? We understand others better and gain their confidence!! All because we let them talk!! A total win-win…

life principles

15th Dale Carnegie Principle: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Here’s a story from the book:

A large advertisement appeared on the financial page of a New York newspaper calling for a person with unusual ability and experience. Charles T. Cubellis answered the advertisement, sending his reply to a box number. A few days later, he was invited by letter to call for an interview. Before he called, he spent hours in Wall Street finding out everything possible about the person who had founded the business. During the interview, he remarked: "I should be mighty proud to be associated with an organization with a record like yours. I understand you started twenty-eight years ago with nothing but desk room and one stenographer. Is that true?"
Almost every successful person likes to reminisce about his early struggles. This man was no exception. He talked for a long time about how he had started with $450 in cash and an original idea. He told how he had fought against discouragement and battled against ridicule, working Sundays and holidays, twelve to sixteen hours a day; how he had finally won against all odds until now the most important executives on Wall Street were coming to him for information and guidance. He was proud of such a record. He had a right to be, and he had a splendid time telling about it. Finally, he questioned Mr. Cubellis briefly about his experience, then called in one of his vice presidents and said: "I think this is the person we are looking for."
Mr. Cubellis had taken the trouble to find out about the accomplishments of his prospective employer. He showed an interest in the other person and his problems. He encouraged the other person to do most of the talking – and made a favorable impression.

Daily Affirmation: Today I AM a listener!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7

How To Convince Others…

He who treads softly goes far. Chinese Proverb

avoid arguments

We all want others to agree with us. Then why do we tend to argue so much? How likely is the other person to agree with us if we try to convince them via an argument? Let’s listen deeply instead. And then if we have a point to make, use this Dale Carnegie technique: Start them off saying ‘Yes’. Ask questions that solicit an affirmative response. That will set the psychological stage for the other person to agree with us. This should be done without manipulation and in a genuine way of course…

life principles

14th Dale Carnegie Principle: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

Here’s a story from the book:

Socrates, "the gadfly of Athens," was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known. He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four

centuries after his death, he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world.
His method? Did he tell people they were wrong? Oh, no, not Socrates. He was far too adroit for that. His whole technique, now called the "Socratic method," was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree. He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.

Daily Affirmation: Today I seek ‘Yeses’!

Recommendation: How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People, Revised EditionKindle Fire, Full Color 7